GRATITUDE

Overflowing Heart

My heart filled and overflowed with emotions, as I stood in the circle with the staff and their voices sang, harmoniously, beautifully and in such unison, the words, thank you Camille, thank you Camille, over and over again. I felt enveloped in such warmth as they expressed their appreciation in song for the gifts that I had brought.  Peggy, the executive director and I had found a way to divide these items so that everyone, staff and volunteers were receive some small token including a stylus type pen, a Humber bag (courtesy of the Human Rights and Diversity Committee, thanks Nancy), USB flash drive, socks, etc.  Their genuine appreciation of these small items was a pleasure to behold and their expression of gratitude was overwhelming.

I have to say thanks to Dentist Paul Sclodnick who donated toothbrushes and toothpaste to the shelter, and also to Pharmacist Ian Stewart for his generous donation of topical supplies for the shelter.  These items were all gratefully accepted on behalf of shelter residents.

Daily Routines

The work day starts at 8:00 am with the staff some sitting, some standing in a circle.  They start with prayers, and then hymn singing, followed by announcements. The day ends at 4:30 pm.  Everyone speaks in a mixture of English and Setswana, usually moving easily between the two languages with an obvious preference for Setswana.  While I cannot understand the language, I can somehow follow and capture the nuances of conversations.    I enjoy sitting at lunch time and listening to people speak, the sounds of their words cascading in an unfamiliar rhythm, yet comforting. I am an outsider, yet I have never felt as such.  Often times, I will hear someone remind others to speak in English, but I actually enjoy hearing them speak in Setswana. 

Communal Living

 I am still taken aback at their communal eating practices. I remain surprise at how easily and naturally someone will sit down next to a person who is eating and take their spoon and begin to share in the meal or see three staff members each with their own spoon sharing from the same lunch container. I am told to not share is to be seen as a bad person.  Even more surprising for me one day, was hearing one staff member expressed disappointment that he was left to eat alone after a fellow staff member took only a few bites and had to return to the office.  I cannot partake in the communal eating practices.  My North American values are deeply entrenched within me. I can’t see myself eating a piece of food (e.g. chicken) that some else was previously chewing on.

This has left me reflecting and I find myself marvelling at how we North American have become so individualistic that our plates when filled with food become something to be protected and it seen as such boundary violation, and utterly crass, to put your fork in another’s plate.  So little of what we have is seen as ours as communal. The people here have little but my sense is that they are willing to share the little they do have.

I saw this communal way of living also replicated in how the houses were arranged when I visited the villages. The homes consisted of circular huts, built with reeds or mud, had grass roofs and were usually surrounded by a pole or reed fence. Communal eating spaces are organized in the center. 

The paradox that remains for me is how is it that in a people who are so kind with each other, who demand that each must acknowledge the other, how is it there is such a high level of Intimate partner violence.